They Are Coming For Us!

I could never be a surgeon. It’s not because I’m unintelligent (at least, I don’t think it’s because I’m unintelligent). Rather, it’s because I have unreasonably shaky hands. Don’t ask me why, I’ve just always been that way. My penmanship has always been poor, I get nervous carrying large trays of food, and I can’t draw a circle to save my life.

Surgeons, on the other hand, have incredibly steady hands. When they’re not cramming their brains full of medical knowledge, they’re flipping quarters between their knuckles, rotating Chinese baoding balls, or juggling bowling pins. Wait, that last one is clowns, not surgeons. My bad.

Anyway, the point is that surgeons are cool, calm, and collected. In fact, of all human professions, being a surgeon is one of the most robot-like there is. Whether its a triple bypass or a simple splenectomy, It’s all about removing your emotions from the situation and getting the job done.

So why is it that even though I know the best surgeons are probably also the most robotic that I still get freaked out by stories like this article for the Chicago Journal by Michelle Minkoff. In it, Minkoff writes about the University of Illinois – Chicago’s Da Vinci Surgical System, a revolutionary human-controlled robot surgical system manufactured by Intuitive Surgical, Inc. in Sunnyvale, California.

Apparently, the Da Vinci system is responsible for 80% of UIC’s general surgeries. 80%! That’s stunning! How much further can this technology be pushed? Will robots someday perform surgeries on their own, unguided by the steady and experienced hands of human surgeons?If so, when that day comes, if I should require surgery, please, just take me to Mexico. I’d rather meet up with a good old fashioned back alley heart surgeon than be cut into by a robot.  It may seem silly now, but trust me, when the uprising begins, do you want to be walking around with a pacemaker from Wall-E? I didn’t think so.