They Are Coming For Us!

It’s a scientifically proven fact that people love penguins. There are a number of reasons why this is true.

1. They look funny when they walk. It’s actually more of a waddle. Either way, it’s adorable.
2. They’re surprisingly tough. Remember that movie March of the Penguins? It didn’t just win an Academy Award because of Morgan Freeman’s sultry narration. Those penguins withstood sub-zero temperatures and 100 mile per hour winds to protect their eggs. That takes guts.
3. They look like they’re wearing little tuxedos. When you see an animal that looks like it’s about to order a vodka martini (shaken, not stirred), you know you’re seeing something special.

Of course, I don’t need to sit here and extol the virtues of the great penguin. As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words, and this picture pretty much says it all.

Given the sheer awesomeness of the penguin, I was shocked to stumble across this post from Engadget. Apparently, some engineers at Festo, a prominent international technology manufacturer, have created a number of robotic penguins. According to the company, these robot penguins are not only fully autonomous, but they can swim backwards better than real penguins.

Read that last sentence again. Fully autonomous. Better than real penguins. I can only ask, why. Why would somebody mess with the natural glory that is the penguin? What practical purpose is there for a robot penguin? Were they made just to embarrass regular penguins? It doesn’t make any sense.

I find this whole situation terribly depressing. If they are already replacing penguins, how long will it be before they decide to start replacing humans? We’re not nearly as awesome as penguins are. We won’t stand a chance!

Unfortunately, I can’t embed the YouTube video of these robo-penguins in action. If you’d like to watch it, you can follow this link. Be wary. They may look and act like real penguins, but they are not. Do not be fooled. That’s what they want to happen.