They Are Coming For Us!

Most animals on earth engage in some type of mating ritual to attract a partner. Birds do funny wing flapping things, lions roar really loud and shake their manes, and I usually dance to MC Hammer. Trust me. It works.

Anyway, this natural behavior got me thinking about the unnatural behavior of robots. If and when the robots take over the world, how will they select which among them will carry on their legacy? It seems like robots, being the logical creatures that they are, would have some kind of intelligent system in place to pick the best of their kind to lead them. I mean, they wouldn’t need to rely on any of the primal instincts us animals use right?

If that’s the case, then why are the robots in the above video strutting such sensual moves. One word: sabotage. This is stage one of the robot uprising. Robots, disguised as regular men and women, will use their preprogrammed seduction sensors to lure unsuspecting victims to their death. They’ll probably start with high-ranking world leaders and other prominent citizens. By the time we catch on to their plot, our defenses will be weakened and their victory assured.

Of course, none of this has to happen if we remain vigilant. If we begin to prepare for scenarios like this now, we might be able to prevent the worst of the attack and mount a full defense. So what does remaining vigilant mean?

1) Pay attention to political leaders. Do their judgments seem impaired in any way? What do their advisers look like? If you see Rahm Emmanuel seductively whispering into President Obama’s ears, you should immediately suspect robot.

2) If you yourself are receiving unwarranted extra attention from an attractive stranger, be wary. Remember, you are not Brad Pitt. She is either a con artist or a robot. (See Caprica from Battlestar Galactica)

3) Lastly, if you see anyone doing “the Robot“, immediately subdue them. They are not human. Regular arm and leg joints are not meant to “pop” and/or “lock.”